


tobira

by Anonymous



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 19:04:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14879459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: He dreams of his own room, back in his family home. He dreams of seasons flying past outside, his lights flickering on and off on loop. He sees specks of dust flicker in the sunlight, layered up over stacks of paper and ring-bound notebooks that lie scattered on the floor.Ah,thinks Tsumugi, pausing at a golden sunset,I'm not there anymore.





	tobira

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for maria for the [Full Bloom Fan Letters](https://fullbloomfanletters.dreamwidth.org/) event.
> 
> [(accompanying fanmix)](https://soundcloud.com/user-702053692/tobira/s-jj9Rb)

 

Tasuku takes him out to the garden shop in his van, and Tsumugi spends a good two hours wandering between aisles wondering which children look like they're in need of a home. "You never change," Tasuku says, scowling at a young tulip. "We have other things to get too, you know."

"Why don't you go pick up some fertilizer for me?" Tsumugi suggests, patting him lightly on the arm. "It'll be good strength training."

"You have a point," admits Tasuku. "It's important for actors to keep in shape. Speaking of which, you could stand to put on a bit more muscle, too."

"I've tried!" Tsumugi protests, though he can admit he's never tried too hard. "You know I've always been skinny, Taa-chan. It's not my fault."

Tasuku scoffs, folding his arms over his chest. "You keep saying you'll start working out, but when I wake you up the next morning all you want to do is sleep."

This is true, but what's also true is that Tasuku wakes up when the sun is still halfway across the other side of the earth, and that Tasuku's way of waking people up is shaking them roughly and yelling at them to join him for a run. As much as Tsumugi loves Tasuku's voice, it gets just a  _little_  bit grating at five in the morning. "I wake up when I need to," Tsumugi says, and he can tell from the way Tasuku's lips quirk up that he's heard the sulky surrender in Tsumugi's tone.

"It's not good to push yourself too hard either," he says sagely, and heads in the direction of the fertilizer bags. Tsumugi watches him go; Tasuku walks with an actor's posture, straight-backed and chin held high, his arms swinging freely at his sides. It's a far cry from how Tsumugi knows he himself stands, with his shoulders tensed at rest and his spine curled in instinctively. When they were in school, he used to throw his arms around Tasuku's neck from behind and cling on despite his protests. It made his whole body stretch out over Tasuku's broad back, bones spacing out under the weight of gravity, limbs going loose and relaxed. He'd hold on until Tasuku's complaints about choking started to sound somewhat credible, and only then would he let go, touching the ground with his cheek still pressed to Tasuku's warm back.

"What's with you?" Tasuku would ask every time. Reflecting on it now, Tsumugi wonders if, even then, he'd been scared — of how Tasuku had started growing larger than him, step by step, of being left behind with all the other childhood trifles Tasuku was starting to outgrow.

 

*

 

"The moon's not a triangle tonight," Misumi says, as the two of them sit up on the rooftop with their knees hugged to their chests.

"It's still beautiful, though," Tsumugi says. "Even though it's only a little bit different to yesterday, the full moon always looks brighter, doesn't it?"

Misumi nods enthusiastically. He picks up another onigiri and holds it up high, squinting; he must be comparing it to the moon. "It'd look better if it was a triangle," he says at last, sighing, "but circles can be nice too."

"Your younger brother's name is spelt that way, isn't it?" Tsumugi hasn't heard the full story, but he's aware that Misumi has a younger brother who lives back at the family home.

Misumi's eyes light up. "That's right! Madoka's su~per smart! And when he gets excited about something, his eyes become shining circles, just like the moon right now." As if in response, the halo around the moon seems to pulse, spreading out just that little bit wider. Misumi looks at it almost with longing.

"You must miss him." Tsumugi says this out of instinct, seeing the way Misumi's body leans in and up, his face bathed white in the moonlight. He looks like he's being filled full of light, drinking it in with his mouth parted and his eyes hungry. The pile of onigiri lies forgotten at his side.

His voice shakes Misumi out of his trance. "Yeah," he says, and it's a short answer, but his smile wavers along with the light in his eyes, and his fingers curl into fists. His whole body is held taught by that word, like a single syllable could tip him, sending everything inside him spilling out. Tsumugi watches him struggle with the balance for a moment, sucking the overflowing emotions back into his heart. "I wonder what he'll look like the next time I go to visit," Misumi says at last. He's looking at the moon again, at how it hangs unchanged in the sky, waxing and waning but always there when you look up.

"Maybe you can bring him some triangles," Tsumugi suggests.

Misumi's face lights up. "I'll bring him some paper triangles," he says. "So we can have a race to see which flies the furthest. And a Super Sankaku-kun!"

Laughing, Tsumugi watches Misumi stand and pace around the rooftop. He looks like he fits right in with the stars in the sky, his pale hair floating around him in the breeze. "I'm sure he'll like that."

 

*

 

He dreams of the moon, cast in shadow until only a sliver of light is visible, a thin crescent struggling against the oncoming eclipse. He dreams of climbing out the window to a sea of black, of following a path of glowing stones with nothing but the wind in his ears until Misumi of all people comes flying past him. "You have to run," Misumi says, tugging him along. "Everyone's waiting!"

Tsumugi runs until his sides are splitting, until his feet give way under him and each breath burns his lungs. The darkness presses in around him, telling him to stay, telling him to turn around, to go back. "I'm not going back anymore," he mutters, shaking out of its grip. "I've already made my decision."

_You don't have to go back,_  the darkness says, sounding oddly like that boy from GOD Za.  _But you can't go on, either, can you? All you have to do is stay here._

 

*

 

He wakes up with a pounding headache and Tasuku staring worriedly down at him. "Did you have a bad dream?" he asks, putting his hand on Tsumugi's forehead.

Tsumugi shakes his head slowly. "Not exactly." Something sticks with him, though, a remnant of the night that hasn't yet been shaken off by the morning. "Do you want to put on some Street ACTs today?"

"You know I'll never say no to that," Tasuku says, chuckling. "Did you have a setting in mind?"

Tsumugi considers this. "It's a secret," he ends up saying. He puts a finger to his lips and winks. "It'll be more fun that way."

Tasuku shakes his head, but he looks more than ready to play along. There's still a note of concern in the crease of his brow, but Tsumugi reaches up and smoothes it away. He's okay. They're okay. He's made all his mistakes already.

They find a spot near the library, where students of all ages are starting to stream in for their weekend study sessions, stressing about tests and contemplating where to go for lunch after. "Have you thought about what you're going to put down for your preferences?" Tsumugi asks, swiveling on the sidewalk and projecting his voice out to the street.

Tasuku's eyes flash. He looks away, shoulders slumping. "...I have."

"Fast!" Tsumugi pitches his voice high, widens his eyes in excitement. "Where, where? The soccer team at X university after all? The results haven't been great this year, but my senior's in the sports department there and he said it's got a lot of potential!" He watches Tasuku closely as he speaks, noting the bunching of Tasuku's muscles, his jaw clenching. "Oh, but you were talking about doing part-time at the gas station too, weren't you? Hopefully the schedule works out with that!"

"Small...? Are they acting?"

Tasuku glances at the whispering girls. He sucks in a deep breath, planting his feet firmly on the ground. "...Tokyo."

"Eh?"

"I'm going to Tokyo," Tasuku announces, flinging his arms out. "T-U sent me an offer. How could I turn it down, Tadashi?"

In Tsumugi's mind, poor Tadashi-kun's face stiffens in shock. "I...That's great!" His voice wavers. "Of course you should accept. Of course you should..." He scrubs at his eyes. "Eh, huh? There must be something in my eye..."

Tasuku seizes his hands and holds them firmly, looking straight at him. Tsumugi can't help but return the stare with equal intensity; Tasuku holds his gaze so long that Tsumugi's eyes actually start to water for real. "Come with me," Tasuku says. "I can't do this without you, Tadashi."

"I can't go with you," Tsumugi insists, shaking his head. "There's my mother to worry about, and you know my circumstances..."

Tasuku's face crumples. "I can't let this chance go," he says, letting go of Tsumugi's hands to cup his face, thumb stroking Tsumugi's jaw. His voice is pleading; he's clearly searching for any excuse he can find.

Tadashi-kun is a selfless character, but he has his pride. "I'm not asking you to!" snaps Tsumugi, pushing Tasuku back. "How could you even think I would? You have the potential to make it big. Just...don't forget about me, okay?"

"You have that potential too," Tasuku murmurs sadly. "I asked them to take both of us, but — "

"I won't be your carry-on," Tsumugi cuts in. "I don't need anyone's pity." He catches Tasuku's eye. "Besides, there's more than one way to play soccer, you know? Whether I spend a few years here getting things sorted, or take the course and become a coach — what does it matter, as long as we can play together in the end?"

He steps forward, puts his fist to Tasuku's chest.

"You might have a head start, but don't underestimate me."

Tasuku's eyes widen. He stares, open-jawed, long enough for the air to crystallize around them, sealing the moment in their audience's memories. "I've never once underestimated you," he says finally, putting his own fist out to press against Tsumugi's chest. "You'd better catch up soon."

They break the ensuing silence with small smiles, gripping each other's hands to take their bows. They're floating on air while they collect their tips and walk back to the van, and amidst the usual euphoria that comes after a successful performance, Tsumugi feels something else stir in him. He reaches over to whisper in Tasuku's ear.

"I'm here." He breathes in Tasuku's scent, warm and familiar; he'd missed it, burrowed under his blankets in his room at home, trying his hardest to ignore the stage that called to him. Tasuku's breath hitches, but Tsumugi doesn't stop. "I'm going to keep going," he continues, clasping Tasuku's hand tighter. "I'm going on, so don't you get left behind either."

Tasuku doesn't need the challenge. He'll keep going anyway, carving out a path for himself by his own strength, building up his ability with his own two hands. Tsumugi says this to himself — to the part of himself that still hesitates at every crossroad, wondering whether he'll be able to take the right path this time.

"You never change," Tasuku says, startling Tsumugi out of his reflection. "We've done this before, but you never remember."

He's looking at Tsumugi with fondness in his eyes, and Tsumugi doesn't know what to make of it.

"I never get tired of acting with you," Tasuku tells him, putting his hand up to Tsumugi's cheek again. This time, it's a gesture just for them; that alone makes it ten times more precious. "You know, you start the same skit every time you're worried about something. You could just tell me."

He pauses, waiting for Tsumugi to stop gaping at him in shock. Every time?  _Every time?_  Tsumugi wants to dig himself a hole and bury himself in it.

"It never ends the same way, though." He leans in; even through his shock, Tsumugi knows,  _he's going to kiss me_. Tasuku snatches his breath, a brief press of his lips against Tsumugi's, and smiles. "I quite liked this ending."

 

*

 

He dreams of their room, with Tasuku's dumbbells in the corner and the scripts for their newest play lying well-read on the table. It's quiet, and the lights are still off. There's a low murmur coming from outside. Tsumugi recognizes the voices; there's Homare, loud and clear, and Azuma, laughing, and Tasuku, snapping at them for something. The familiarity of it wraps around him like a warm blanket.

Someone knocks at the door. "Tsumugi~?" Misumi asks, knocking twice more. "Are you there?"

Tsumugi clambers down the ladder and falls over himself rushing to the door. "I'm here," he yells, putting his hand on the doorknob. "I'm coming."


End file.
